Tribute to Carol Matthews, 1948 - 2023

What a beautiful service it was today. I was very sad not to be able to attend in person, so was really glad to be able to watch the live stream. Carol was a really important person in my life, particularly in my younger years and at university in London. As a child I would always be excited knowing that she was coming to stay, as she always made us feel special. She had an amazing way with children, not overbearing (as Lucy said in today's service, she had a real calm about her) and always had something interesting to say. She knew how to make conversation with you, no matter how young you were. She also had the best taste in presents, and hers were always some of the best!I went to art school in London, and it was around that time that Carol and I started having our own friendship outside of her friendship with my parents. We would meet up and see exhibitions, or go for a coffee and a catch up. Carol had strong opinions and wasn't afraid to share them, and as a young and newly politically aware student, I loved these meetings. I also saw her as a role model for a bold woman who wasn't afraid to stand up for herself in a male-dominated world. Particularly one with short hair like mine!We also bonded over our love of birdwatching, and I will never forget a visit to Pulborough Brooks nature reserve with her and Alan, to listen to nightingales. Carol was very sad when I moved to Glasgow, and expressed a strong wish not to lose touch. I wish I had been better able to keep in touch with her through emails and messages. As it was, the years since Martyn and I moved to Glasgow have been filled with challenges and turbulence, so sadly that didn't happen. I was overjoyed to see Carol and Alan at our wedding last year, and am so glad that we managed to catch up on the phone shortly afterwards. I had been meaning to get in touch with her again recently, and now can only regret that I left it too late. I will always have brilliant memories of spending time with her, and want to thank her for being such a guiding light in my early years. I will miss her very much, and can take comfort in the thought that she can finally see my Dad again, as they were very close. Right now they are probably grumbling about the state of the world together!Sending lots of love to you Carol, and also to Alan at this horrendous time.  Katy xxx

I am so sorry to hear of Carol's death - she was such a friend and mentor to me.I was at MGC (think I must have left 1977).  I was hopeless at Physics but somehow we became great friends.  She always gave me a cup of tea on my way up to the Art Department.  As you are at that age - confused by life -she encouraged me hugely to go my own way for which I shall be for ever grateful.  I did - and we remained in touch all these years.  I shall miss her Christmas cards.  She really was my mentor. Go well.   Julia Duff

It is very difficult to sum up 48 years of friendship. Carol and I first met in 1975 in the Science Department at Malvern Girls College (MGS) and soon became friends. Carol cut such a fine figure in the Physics Lab, sweeping in with high heels and wonderful long skirts. She was ever the ‘fashionista’ with such style! I was the Biology teacher in the white coat. We visited and shared meals in our respective homes in Malvern Link, we walked the Hills and enjoyed the Brummie connection.I left MGS in 1976, got married to a Birmingham man and went to live in Brasilia, Brasil. Carol came to our wedding party and for the next 6 years we kept in touch by snail mail, with sheafs of airmail paper and a fountain pen ! As a biologist, living on the high plateau of central Brasil surrounded by the great Cerrado grasslands was such an adventure for me and I shared it all with Carol, every month found me sitting down to write a long long letter to her about this extraordinary modern city , the wildlife , the people etc. Years later Carol told me of her excitement at getting these regular letters and how she had kept them and read them over and over again. Such is the making of a strong friendship, though miles apart.We returned to England and Cornwall after 6 years with two young boys, the eldest of whom, Daniel, became Carol’s godson. My family moved to Salisbury in 1982, then briefly in Texas and now I live in Devon. Carol’s career, she so multi skilled and intelligent, had reached new heights. Recently, leafing through an old address book I note that Carol moved from Malvern to Ware and other places, before finally settling in Kingston.Over the years we kept in touch, supporting our friendship all the while. I cherish memories of walking in Cornwall, exploring the Wiltshire Downs with Carol’s beloved mother Elsie, who was a regular visitor to our home in Salisbury., bird watching in Somerset and Devon, meeting for coffee at the NT cafe when I was in London, enjoying a John Adam’s opera at the Barbican etc.Thank you, dear friend for all these memories, for our enduring friendship and the  fun and joy of your company. Your enthusiasm, wit and intelligence.. and your annual Christmas letter will be sorely missed. I mourn your passing, but above all I celebrate your life and my part in it. In friendship and much love.. goodbye , Elaine X

Carol and I had been initially colleagues, and then friends for around 33 years. We were drawn together because those we worked with in Harrow Education Department didn’t really understand our roles, but we understood each other’s work priorities, and could offer each other moral support.After we left Harrow our career paths diverged, but we always kept in touch and met up whenever possible. We enjoyed our days out at National Trust Properties, we had picnics, and visited galleries in London.After my husband died, Carol and Alan came to visit me in Dorset for summertime weekends. We walked by the sea and went bird watching (Carol and Alan much more knowledgeable than I am ) Our last visit was to Corfe Castle and I have a happy memory  of a leisurely picnic in the churchyard there.In alternate years I would stay with Carol in Kingston and we spent many pleasant hours in London. So it was at the end of July this year that, in the space of two days,  Carol and I went to two operas at Covent Garden, visited four galleries and managed a meal in Chinatown. The next day we walked in the Surrey Hills. It felt as if we were young again, and this is why Carol’s sudden passing is such a shock. The memories of these few days are very precious and I shall always treasure them.Carol was a wonderful companion, highly intelligent, sharp and witty. She had a breadth of interest and intellectual curiosity, as well as deep knowledge of the arts, particularly music. She was such good company and I shall miss the times we shared, our conversations, and above all our long lasting friendship.

I met Carol in the first term of both our post-grad years (1970-72) at York University and was immediately drawn to her warmth, humour and general bon vivant an attractive young woman in all respects.  She was always good company throughout those two years and the decades afterwards, during which we visited each on many occasions, despite moving to different parts of the UK.  She was so welcoming to me and, later, to my two young girls, at her delightful house in Kingston.  I might add that she was the only person allowed to shorten my name - she called me Susie, and I loved to hear her say it! We had arranged to meet in London on 24th October this year; a meeting never to be held.  Her sudden death is tragic, and I will always remember that infectious smile.Susan Ivy Harr